Well, it is officially Day Two of Kaylie’s Official Second-Go at Ghetto Weight Watchers. For those who don’t know, Ghetto Weight Watchers is for people who are too poor to pay for meetings, or website use. And if you’re thinking, “that’s not a thing!” you’re right. I made it up. It has one member. That member is me. Whatever. The decision to start Weight Watchers has been a difficult one. The last time I did it, I did it because of severe low self-esteem. I thought being thin would solve all my problems. And, low and behold, at my lowest weight since the seventh grade, I was the most unhappy I have ever been. Outside forces, aside; the size of my jeans didn’t really make me any happier or comfort me when I was sad. I was just colder. And my boobs were smaller. It’s been a long journey of self-rebuilding in the almost 3 years that have passed since then. I’ve spent a lot of that time concentrating on putting less stock in numbers (weight, dress size) and more on the way I feel. I think it’s stupid for women to not feel beautiful if they are above a certain weight. So I’ve tried really hard, and I think I’ve made a lot of progress, to love myself exactly as I am. I’m not saying I’m the Ghandi of self-confidence or anything. But I’ve grown a lot in my appreciation of myself. Or at least, I’ve gotten better at talking myself out of self-deprecating thoughts. So, this time around I promise myself this: I will not lose myself in the obsession of losing weight. I will get in shape because I want to, not because I think it will make me prettier, or sexier, or happier. All I can say for the past two days is this: I’m hungry. It’s probably mostly psychological, I understand that. But still. Also, I’ve been trying to exercise regularly, which is making me really miss Western’s rec center. Maybe I’ll get a gym membership. I do love that elliptical guy. Regardless, I have plans to at least *attempt* doing BodyRock’s 30 day new year’s challenge. Although I may die. We’ll see how things go.
Day Three of Weight Watchers!
Day three has been so much easier. I have hardly felt like dying from hunger at all, which is excellent. Last night Mom and I made a very filling delicious dish (Whole Wheat Spaghetti with Marinara, mushrooms, broccoli, cauliflower and tofu,) the leftovers of which I had for lunch. It was excellent! I've missed cooking, it reminds me of Italy. Can't wait until I'm doing my own shopping again. This morning I had egg whites with mushrooms and veggie sausage on a whole wheat English Muffin. Nummers!
In the past, I've found Day Three to be the hardest day of a diet. Yes, Weight Watchers Gurus, I realize that WW is not technically a 'diet,' it's marketed as a 'lifestyle,' but for all intents and purposes, I'm calling it a 'diet.'
Anyway, I have a pretty sordid diet-related past. I've started and stopped Weight Watchers more times than I care to count, done all sorts of Fat Flushes and Fasts; pretty much anything advertised on the cover of a magazines and
